PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
