At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
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Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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