Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
