you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
