Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Randomize
