I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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