Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
