does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
