whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize