I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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