let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
