I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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