After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
