My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
