There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize