i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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