Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
