life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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