A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't put those talents on a resume
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
