i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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