When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
