Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
