well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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