after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Let's get the cat blown out
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
