I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm too high and old for this...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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