And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize