Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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