I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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