This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
