So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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