My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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