I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
