id be glad to
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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