So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
