note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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