You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.