my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
