we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
