Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
