my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
