I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
