I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sorry about my life...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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