I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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