is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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