he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Girls should come with a carfax report
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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