watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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