i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
