how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
