Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
