Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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