Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
