Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?

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(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.

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(419): View more from Ohio

All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS

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(804): View more from Virginia

I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.

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(905): View more from Ontario

Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!

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(443): View more from Maryland

Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident

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