C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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