Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize