Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
