Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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