We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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