ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
