He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
