I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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